god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
