I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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