i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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