Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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