Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
