pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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