I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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