dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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