Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
