how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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