someone threw a dead crab at me
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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