this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
