I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
