Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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