Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
