Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
