You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
