You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
