He uses pillows to masturbate.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
