found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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