i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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