i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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