I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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