i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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