I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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