I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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