There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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