if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
