have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
