You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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