bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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