i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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