My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
