I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
