I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
