you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
