mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Banned from zoo.
Again?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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