Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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