There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
