I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
