I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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