So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
