Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
