Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
