i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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