Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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