I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
