Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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