just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
