i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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