I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
