when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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