I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
