some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
All the doctor said was why
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
