i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
