im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
